BTVS According to Roy
by claudius
Summary: Roy has a strange dream where he's a dorky high school student, Riza slays vampires, Schiezska is a bookworm WITHOUT GLASSES, and they all live over a Hellmouth. Season One
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Season One Part 1

By Claudius

According to some sources, ten years ago this very day, Buffy the Vampire Slayer premiered on television. This is my gift to that anniversary.

I don't own the copyright to _Buffy_ or _Fullmetal Alchemist_. For this chapter, Roy will oversee the beginning two-parter "Welcome to the Hellmouth" and "The Harvest," written and directed by Joss Whedon. To be noted is that every non-italicized piece of dialogue (and the plot) was written by Joss Whedon. I take no credit for any of them.

_

* * *

__Dreams are a funny thing. In that unconscious world, you act differently from real life. That realm can give you a different role altogether._

_Dreams can sometimes be solaces for the dreck of real life. I suppose that means I live in dreams a lot, considering the wreck my life is now. But I've rarely had comfortable dreams. Most of them trouble me with the mistakes I've done, the people I've killed and the friends I've failed._

_But I still have other dreams. Some I've had are plain weird. Which brings me to this one. How does it begin?_

_I see myself outdoors in the morning sun. I am surrounded by hundreds of kids walking, riding bicycles, getting out of strange-looking cars without propulsion tubes. I see all this by moving around. That's the weird part (besides the fact that I'm seeing things through two eyes again). I am going without moving my feet. I look forward. I'm unable to look down at will. When I do look down, I see that I'm standing on a board with wheels. I should be so surprised that I lose balance, but nothing happens. I move without problem, swerving past the crowd. They are all teenagers, wearing very different clothes. Most of the girls are in very short miniskirts. Nice to see that._

"Coming through…"

_I speak against my will. The words continue._ "'Scuse me! Coming through! Not certain how to stop! Please move! Whoa! 'Scuse me!"

_And then I spot a girl walking up some stairs. A blond-haired girl in a miniskirt. She has a striking resemblance to Riza Hawkeye. She looks as young as Riza was when I first saw her, when I learned Alchemy under her father's tutelage. I've almost forgotten how beautiful she is. It's been more than a year since I last saw her._

_My eyes stay glued to this doppelganger, which means avoiding what's before me. I hit a stair rail and fall. That hurt. Lying on the stone stairs, I see a girl giggling over me. _

"Willow! You're so very much the person I wanted to see."

_Again my voice speaks without my thoughts. It seems to recognize the girl, calling her Willow. She looks like Schiezska without the glasses. Very cute. She looks excited to see me. The voice speaks more._

"Yeah. You know, I kind of had a problem with the math."

_Willow looks a little disappointed._

"Which part?"

"The math."

_I'm getting the feeling that this dream has my body have a different mind of its own. I am in control of nothing. It is as if I'm a tenant with no independence, and the house clearly acts differently. Not to my liking. When I hear Willow speak about Trigonometry, a field I have a skilled knowledge about, I realize that this boy isn't smart._

_The two of us head to the doors of a building. I see its name: Sunnydale High School. I hate to be the person with that name. I must be a teenager in my dream, going to some public school. That explains the varied clothing. I meet another boy._

"Hey, Jesse! What's what?"

_We clap hands like friends._

"New girl!"

"That's right, I saw her. Pretty much a hotty!"

_It seems this awkward boy is supposed to be my friend in this dreamworld. He and Willow talk about a new girl transferring here. Do they mean Riza?_

_They call me Xander. I guess it's short for Alexander. I hope this doesn't mean anything. _

_I head to a locker. I open it even though I don't know the combination lock. The door opens to reveal drawings of costumed men and photographs of women in very small swimsuits. Fortunately, this self looks at the latter pictures a lot. Then we come to a mirror. To my relief, I don't look like Major Armstrong. The face is really me as a teenager. The hair is a giant mop, and brown colors my hair and eyes, but it's still my old handsome self. Despite the horrible clothes, I am pleased with my appearance. How young I look! The eyes are peaceful, innocent. No 'murderer eyes' at all._

_Walking around the hall, I see dream Riza coming out of an office. Two students bump into her, causing her bookbag to fall. This new self takes advantage. I kneel to help her, ready to charm her. _

"Can I have you? Dyeh—can I help you?"

_I go silent for a moment. This dream has suddenly become a nightmare. Xander must be a real loser with women! A good thing Havoc isn't here. I would never hear the end of it. At least this Riza lookalike doesn't seem to notice._

"I don't know you, do I?"

"I'm Buffy. I'm new."

_Buffy? I don't know the longer name for that one. Still, I am amazed at her beauty. Then I spot her eyes. They look like Riza's eyes during Ishbal. Murderer eyes._

"Maybe I'll see you around. Maybe at school, since we…both…go there…"

_I cringe. She seems to hide her reaction, leaving in a hurry._

"'We both go to school'...Very suave. Very not pathetic."

_Well, at least Xander knows how lame he is._

_I see something Riza…Buffy left on a floor. A stake. I'm more interested seeing her walk away with that very short miniskirt._

_

* * *

__As Xander, I go through several classes. Science, Math, and some History that doesn't appear to be from real life. What is this Europe? Buffy is in none of the classes. But I do recognize another person. Gracia. A tanner, very sexy looking Gracia. But this body doesn't care to talk to her, leaving the classroom without a talk. Evidently, this form's independence is going to continue for the rest of this dream. I think it's time to wake up._

_Xander meets with Jesse and goes to an outdoor area surrounded by the school. I see that Willow person talking to Buffy._

"Hey. Are you guys busy? Can we interrupt? We're interrupting."

"Buffy, this is Jesse, and that's Xander."

"Oh me and Buffy go way back. Old friends, very close. Then there was that period of estrangement, I think we were both changing as people, but here we are and it's like old times, I'm quite moved."

_Please, Xander. Stop it…Jesse calls Xander a babbling idiot. On the mark, Jesse! Buffy says it's nice to meet us. She isn't so sure in fact._

_I see Xander return her stake. Buffy calls it a weapon for self-defense, and says it's popular in L.A. Where's L.A.? What's L.A.? Xander and Jesse keep coming on to Buffy. I learn the title of this town- Sunnydale. So instead of being the ridiculous name of some politician or soldier, it's the ridiculous name of this town. And then Gracia enters. She seems to know Buffy. She is called Cordelia here, and the hotness factor isn't the only thing that makes her very different from Gracia. Mrs. Maes Hughes was never a snob or a bitch._

_Cordelia has grave news: a dead body is in the school. Stuffed in a locker. But what is really interesting is Buffy's concerned expression about it. As if she experienced something like it. I guess this dream is not going to be some idyllic play. Not that it has been._

_Eventually, this Xander follows Willow's instructions to pick up a Trigonometry book at the Library. Seeing an empty room, Xander searches bookcase to bookcase unattended. I hear the Librarian enter. He looks like a much older Falman. This dream has people I know playing different roles in it. I'm hit with a realization: is there a Maes Hughes doppelganger here?_

_I hear words. Buffy is in the room as well, talking to the Librarian about the recent death. She says the body was drained of blood with two marks on his neck. She then says the possible cause: vampire. Having no clue on that name, I continue listening (That is, Xander continues listening. I'm going to have to differentiate my own thoughts with Xander's actions). Buffy speaks her reluctance about dealing with it, which is strange…until the conversation grows stranger:_

"To make you a vampire, they have to suck your blood and then you have to suck their blood. It's a whole sucking thing. Mostly they'll just take all of your blood and then you just die."

_The Librarian calls her something: The Slayer. "Into every generation, a Slayer is born. One girl, in all the world, a chosen one. One born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires…"_

_And Buffy interrupts:_

"To stop the spread of their evil blah blah, I've heard it, okay?"

_The Librarian than reveals this place, Sunnydale, is a center of weird things. A center of mystical power. Magic?! They got to be kidding…_

"Like werewolves, Zombies. Succubi, incubi…Everything you ever dreaded under your bed and told yourself couldn't be by the light of day."

_What about Homunculus?_

_The Librarian calls himself the Watcher, a guide to the Slayer. At any rate, Buffy doesn't want anything to do with this responsibility, saying it cost her a social life and endangers the lives of her friends. Can't say I disagree on that one. Does this mean I believe her? Xander doesn't._

"What?!"

_

* * *

__I head to where this Xander lives. Pretty middle-class house. He has parents, though they look ready to be at each other's throats. His father doesn't appear very happy about his son. A big difference from the Hughes family. Xander seems to talk to himself a lot. I become fascinated by the devices in his room, like the radio and the box that broadcasts images. Fortunately, Xander uses them a lot. He also likes reading pulp fiction._

_As night falls, he heads to this place called The Bronze. Inside it is a darkly-lit dance hall with people dancing and hopping to the sounds of an ungroomed band playing very weird, very loud music. There are a lot of short-skirted, belly exposing girls dancing. Never get tired of seeing that. Xander sees Jesse attempt to score with some women, unsuccessfully. And there is Buffy! She's leaving the place in a hurry._

"Xander, have you seen Willow?"

"Not tonight."

"I need to find her. She left with a guy."

_Buffy's apprehension brings a cold chill down my spine. The night. The street. The friend. The information about monsters. A horrible sense of déjà vu grows within me._

"We are talking about Willow, right? Scoring at the Bronze. Work it, girlfriend."

_Xander…_

"God I hope he's not a vampire. 'Cause then you'd have to slay him."

_I ignore Buffy's shock with my own. My fear becomes rage. I want to yell at this boy for his stupidity. This is not the time for jokes, Xander! I think your friend is in danger!_

"Whatever. Just tell me where Willow would go!"

"You're serious."

_Yes Xander! Don't just stand there!_

"We don't find her, there's gonna be another dead body in the morning."

_I hear Xander comply. Finally, you stupid idiot!_

_They head to a cemetery. Not my favorite of places. At least, it doesn't have his grave._

_Buffy is silent through our trip, though I get the idea of the threat. Not that I totally believe her vampire stories, but I've seen things._

_They head to a mausoleum. A blond woman and a man are towering over Willow and Jesse. We are in time. The attackers reveal their faces. They have huge sagging brows with animal eyes and teeth. Almost like human chimeras. Xander must be horrified. As for me, I've seen Bradley reform from a burned skeleton, so forgive me if I'm not wetting my pants. Still, this is a threat that needs my Alchemy. But that's no longer a possibility, no matter which form I'm in._

_Buffy breezes into the room, acting very cool. I suddenly wish this is Riza here, brandishing a gun._

"Buffy, we bail now, right?"

_These…vampires close into Buffy, still acting like she can take both of them. My worry then takes a dive when a vampire jumps her from behind. Buffy quickly- very quickly- pulls out a stake and, without confrontation, impales the attacker with it. He falls and quickly disintegrates into dust. Now I'm astonished. I look blankly at this new form of death. Xander, however, lacks my shock just enough to take Buffy's orders and head to Willow and Jesse. They pull Jesse out of the crypt. The last I see of Buffy is her fighting the blonde vampire with an abnormal prowess of combat abilities._

_Xander and Willow drag Jesse outdoors. Despite my shock, I am somewhat relieved for Buffy and Xander saving his friends' lives. Willow appears shocked but somehow alert about the situation. There is something strong within her. Then three vampires appear. The Blond female vampire comes from behind. Even without my fire, my training puts me in great physical condition for combat. But I doubt Xander has that. Sure enough, he proves it. I then see black..._

_When I see things again, Buffy is rescuing us by killing more vampires. I remember the Librarian's words about the Slayer having powers to face the creatures. Why couldn't it be a man? Better yet, why couldn't it be me? This is my dream after all. Still, it could have been worse. It could be Edward Elric saving my life._

_Willow is safe. Jesse is no longer with us. I get a bad feeling._

_

* * *

The next morning, we all head to the library. The Librarian, Giles, gives us some rough history. According to him, the world once belonged to demons. When man came to inhabit, the demons became the minority._

"Okay, this is where I have a problem, see, because we're now talking about vampires. We're having a talk with vampires in it."

_Willow is very dazed by the information. Both are ready to believe it's all a hoax. Buffy convinces them otherwise._

"No, those weren't vampires. Those were just some guys in thundering need of a facial. Or maybe they had rabies- coulda been rabies. And that guy turning into dust? Just a trick of the light! That's exactly what I said the first time I saw a vampire. Well, after I was done with the screaming part."

_It looks like Xander and Willow know what vampires are. I don't. I had to learn my monster knowledge from experience. My chest still has the scar of that. Although I can see things through Xander, I can't read his mind. Maybe that's a good thing._

_Fortunately Giles does speak his mind. He seems to like hearing himself talk. He says one of the last demons before civilization fed off a human and mixed their blood. This human became infected with the demon's soul and bit and fed off other humans. Thus this race continued, killing or bringing others to their kind._

_He also talks about the Slayer. They have been around as long as vampires. When one dies, another is called. I guess I'm starting to believe all of this. It's my dream after all. Still, why a girl?_

_Xander asks about Jesse. Buffy says this is her responsibility. Willow asks to call for the police. I'd call for an army of alchemists for this problem. I'd even get Edward, if he was still around…_

_I am introduced to a new piece of technology. It is called the computer. Its like a typewriter except the paper is on a screen. The computer, or the net, according to Willow, is like a portable library with information. Schiezska would love this device. Hughes, too..._

_Anyway, according to its information, there is a series of underground sewer tunnels vampires use to move around in daytime. Why in daytime, I don't know. Willow is able to locate a map of the tunnel system, with a connection to the cemetery._

_Buffy then realizes that the vampires had to come from some secret passage in the mausoleum. She's going to rescue Jesse. Xander wants to help. I have the same idea. Just because I have no control doesn't mean I'm reluctant to everything Xander does._

"So what's the plan? We saddle up, right?"

"There's no 'we'. Okay? I'm the Slayer, and you're not."

"I knew you were gonna throw that in my face."

"Xander, this is deeply dangerous."

"I'm inadequate. That's fine. I'm less than a man."

_I am not exactly happy about being refused, especially on the grounds that I'm weaker than Buffy. I can't help seeing her as Riza, who took my orders. Fortunately, Xander feels the same way. I think we both agree to help anyway. Willow too. They're going to need as much help as we can. I doubt any official is going to believe this story._

_The need for action is especially dire with what Giles and Willow has found out. Looks like the Harvest is coming. A vampire massacre which will lead to all sorts of disaster. As Xander puts it: Rain of toads._

"This is too much. Yesterday my life is like 'Oh no. Pop Quiz!' Today- Rain of toads."

_I see a parallel to my own life here. One day my life is like 'Military exams!' Tomorrow- murder people._

_

* * *

Like me, Xander doesn't take no for an answer. He…we skip school and follow Buffy to the mausoleum. Inside, as Buffy predicted, there is a door leading to the tunnels. We meet up with Buffy. She warns us (him and me). Xander pleads his case._

"Jesse's my bud, okay? If I can help him, then that's what I gotta do…Besides, it's this or Chem class."

_Buffy accepts the help._

_Buffy and Xander continue down the tunnels. Buffy gives info in repelling vampires: garlic, crosses, sunlight. To kill vampires: fire, beheading, sunlight, holy water, wooden stake through the heart. Vampires seem easier to kill than Homunculus._

_There is something disturbing how calmly Buffy talks about killing vampires. She recalls the difficulty of beheading a thick-necked creature with a small knife. Reminds me of Kimbley bragging about exploding Ishbalans. I try to rationalize that Buffy only feels this way towards inhuman creatures and not humans._

_Meanwhile, I'm beginning to find some hope in Xander. Despite obvious feelings of fright, he is willing to go after Jesse his friend. Friendship is a powerful thing._

_We are coming closer to the vampires. No more rats. We discover Jesse. He appears okay, except chained by the leg. Buffy frees him (very noisily). We make a run for it. Somehow, I get suspicious. I can't believe in Jesse's safe condition. After Bradley, people are never what they seem. I hope I'm wrong._

_And I am not. Worse, the revelation is right when Jesse leads us to a dead end with oncoming vampires. Jesse found some really good timing to reveal his new self. I know what Xander must be feeling right now. I know. His friend is gone. This new Jesse speaks about being better, stronger, with no conscience left._

"You're like a shadow to me."

_I'm not a religious man. I think the idea of repelling any monster with a cross is ridiculous. Something Feury would do. So I am surprised to see Xander using it on Jesse- and succeeding. Buffy manages to throw Jesse to the attackers and block their way with a metal door._

"We've gotta get out of here."

"There is no out of here."

_Fortunately we spot an air vent. We climb into it and up through a grating to the surface. Escaping, I find out the sunlight weakness works. Jesse burns his exposed hand trying to catch us. We collapse to the floor, with me…Xander embracing Buffy. Old feelings come up. Riza._

_

* * *

We return to the library. Xander shows his frustration by kicking a waste paper basket._

"I don't like vampires. Let me take a stand and say they're not good."

_I'm unable to give comfort Xander over his loss. I don't know if I can. His best friend is dead, and now a monster. I dread what might have happened if I tried human transmutation on Hughes._

_Giles gives us more info, or as Buffy puts it, 'any news that could make this day worse.' Predictably, Giles says the end of the world. It seems a very old vampire came to this place sixty years ago. He was planning to open some portal between this world and hell. Sunnydale has such a portal, called the Hellmouth, the source of this weirdness. An earthquake ruined his plans, and he got stuck underground. This Harvest is his way to break free. All he needs is some minion to feed on enough people. Xander guesses it's the Bronze where this Harvest will take place. Good thinking._

_We all head for the Bronze. The door is shut. The enemy has already arrived. Buffy tells us to take the exits._

"You get the exit cleared and the people out. That's all."

_Taking orders from a woman is beginning to bother me._

_Along our way, Giles drops a tidbit:_

"Jesse is dead. You have to remember that if you see him. You're not looking at your friend. You're looking at the thing that killed him."

_Xander is probably viewing vampires in the same fashion as I viewed Homunculus: something to be killed for the sake of revenge. He is heading toward the same path I took when I learned Bradley was inhuman. Killing won't honor Jesse's memory, Xander. Vengeance never does. Then again, like me, a choice doesn't exist._

_The vampires all gather for the Harvest. Two kids, a Librarian, and a Slayer are all that stand against it. Hopefully I'll wake up when our grim end comes. The battle begins. As we help inhabitants escape, Buffy fights the leader. We get bearhugged by a vampire. Buffy saves us by throwing a cymbal at the vampire, decapitating him. I see the head fly and disintegrate._

"Heads up."

_Then comes Jesse. I see him menacing Cordelia. Despite the differences in character, I can't let any resemblance of Gracia die._

_We raise the stake. Jesse faces us. I hear Jesse's sorrow about being a loser before becoming a vampire. Despite what Giles says, Jesse still has some residue of his previous life. He must have been a troubled kid. Can't help sympathizing with him._

_Xander hesitates with the stake upon Jesse's chest. A fleeing kid shoves him closer to get impaled. An accident. Lucky? Maybe not._

_The rest of the vampires disperse after their leader is dusted. I get a shot of Buffy on the stage. Maybe it's the spotlight, but I see someone heroic. A champion. It looks like we won. Dreams do some weird things._

"Did we win?"

"Well, we averted the apocalypse. You gotta give us points for that."

"One thing's for sure. Nothing is ever going to be the same."

_

* * *

The next morning, everything appears normal. Nothing is mentioned about the vampires. Cordelia doesn't remember the near-massacre in the same way Xander (and myself), Buffy, Willow, Giles see it. Giles says it's a normal function to forget things we can't rationalize. He also says we should prepare for more._

"We stopped the Master from freeing himself and opening the mouth of Hell. Doesn't mean he'll stop trying."

_He further points out that other creatures besides vampires will come. He says we four (or five from my viewpoint) stand between the earth and total destruction. Buffy's reaction is to look at the bright side. She could get out of Sunnydale by getting expelled from school again. Her words are not very reassuring. With such an attitude I can't help thinking of one thing: We're doomed._

* * *

To be continued 


	2. Season One Part 2

Chapter 2: Season One Part 2

By claudius

I don't own the copyright to _Buffy_ or _Fullmetal Alchemist_. For this chapter, Roy will oversee the remainder of _Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season One_, written by Dana Reston ("Witch"), David Greenwalt ("Teacher's Pet", "Angel"), Matt Kiene & Joe Reinkemeyer ("The Pack"), Ashley Gable & Thomas A. Swyden ("I Robot…You, Jane", "Out of Sight, Out of Mind") and Joss Whedon ("Prophecy Girl"). To be noted is that every indented and (mostly) non-italicized piece of dialogue is the work of the aforementioned writers. I take no credit for any of them. Not every episode will be covered, and not everything will be covered from the episodes.

* * *

_Over these weeks of dreams, I begin to learn more of these doppelgangers and their world._

_From what I've learned, the country itself is not a militaristic society. It seems to be under a democratic government with a President. It is based heavily on technology. Besides computers and visual broadcasting machines, man has also created flying machines. There has to be a negative side to these innovations._

_There is no Alchemy. I see a lot of alchemaic phenomenon, but it seems any acknowledgment is on some primitive attitude. They call it magic. Oh brother! 'Magic' is the word of the superstitious before they understand it. Then it either becomes science or Alchemy. However, no machines or transmutation circles are used to create this phenomenon. The State Alchemists would laugh._

_It probably has something to do with the location. Sunnydale is a crazy place full of everything that goes bump in the night, mostly vampires. The Hellmouth has something to do with it. Of a more conventional craziness is the school system, where students are organized of different groups: the popular and the losers. Been there._

_And let's not forget the characters of this play:_

_Cordelia Chase. She can be described in two words: vicious bitch. Self-absorbed, seeing herself as the main priority, she is the popular student with her own following. This gives her the pride to turn on anyone unpopular. She chooses a lot of nasty words for Xander and Willow, most popularly, 'losers.' The only similarity Cordelia shares with Gracia Hughes is strength. One difference is that this duplicate is hot, something that Mrs. Maes Hughes rarely displays, despite her late husband's label of 'a love goddess.'_

_Rupert Giles. He is a learned scholar. As a watcher, he sees Buffy as his responsibility. He seems a stranger to these times, probably lesser than me. This causes him some frustration._

_Willow Rosenberg. Underneath that shy, meek attitude is a very courageous person (or is it because Xander acts meeker?). She has a thirst of knowledge, even though it might lead to trouble. She would make a great Alchemist; an Alchemist who talks adorably. I know of double entendre, but she has this way of speaking serious with cute words. I also get the feeling that Willow is really attracted to Xander. I can tell her disappointment whenever Xander has eyes on someone else, like..._

_Buffy Summers. Brave, strong, but otherwise acts like an ordinary person. She doesn't like schoolwork. She wants to have a social life of dating boys and parties. It appears she was formerly like Cordelia, until burning down her last school saw to her expelling and drop from popularity. For these reasons, she doesn't really like her responsibility as a Slayer. But she does it nevertheless._

_And finally, the role this dream has given me: Xander Harris. A virgin, he lets his balls do a lot of the acting. Case in point: becoming prey to the hot substitute teacher who turns out to be a giant mantis (Havoc, this is your role!). I guess he has good traits. He's loyal to his friends. He is witty. He's nice. Then again, he's weak in battle (Sgt. Feury could kick his ass!), isn't very smart, and then there is the aforementioned balls instinct problem. He makes himself the laughingstock, but I suppose that's a defense. Better to be laughed at for your own actions than being laughed at for no reason. Perhaps I'm being too negative here. I've done things a lot worse than this young man, and perhaps a lot of his life parallels my boarding school life. Except that I was not picked on. Instead I was the pick-on-er._

_One day, Buffy is trying out as a cheerleader. A cheerleader is a girl who dances and cheers for the football team. They dress in mini-skirts. Mini-skirts…"Where was I?"_

"You were pretending that seeing scantily-clad girls in revealing postures was a spiritual experience."

_"What do you mean, pretending?"_

_And here comes Buffy. Her attire makes me wish Riza dressed like that more often._

"Oh hey. Here's a little good luck thing for the tryouts."

_A bracelet with "Yours always…"_

"That was on there when I got it. Really. They all said that."

_Good one, Xander._

_Something is happening to the cheerleaders. One burns into flames. Another, Cordelia, goes blind. Giles says a witch is responsible. Okay… Once again we do research. One is a book on pagan rituals, checked by Alexander…_

"All right, all right. It's not what you think."

"You like to look at the semi-nude engravings?"

"Oh, well, then it is what you think."

_Suspicion falls on a girl named Amy, who wants to lead the group. And then Buffy acts weird. She shows off her super strength. This gets her into trouble._

"I just got kicked off the team, didn't I?"

"I don't think it's your fault."

"I know you don't. That's cause you're my friend. You're my Xander-shaped friend…do you have any idea why I love you so, Xander?"

_Here it comes…_

"I'll tell you. You're not like other guys at all…"

"Well…"

"You are completely and totally one of the girls. I'm that comfy with you."

_Ouch. Then again, we could blame it on whatever spell she's under. Spell? Did I just say that? Am I starting to believe this fantasy? Well, the fantasy seems to be harming Buffy._

_We learn that Amy is the culprit witch. Actually, it's her domineering mother who is a witch that has switched bodies with her daughter. Izumi Curtis told me something similar of this situation. Giles tries to reverse the spells. Amy, or Amy's mother, charges to stop him. I/Xander try to stop her. Suddenly, my breathing stops, causing me to choke. Amy is causing it! Willow is no help either._

_Then the suffocation ends. I/Xander grabs an axe and charges after Amy. This is fortunately averted by Buffy, saying everything is reversed. But where is Amy's mother? She had accidentally teleported herself somewhere._

* * *

_So far, Buffy doesn't seem to go beyond friendship with Xander. She has been seeing someone, an informer named Angel. And I see this Angel..._

_For a moment, I thought I saw Hughes. No glasses, no beard, no bang curl, though the hair is still groomed. He also doesn't smile, although I think frowns were a truer form of the friend I know._

_Xander is equally unsettled, but in a different way._

"Well, he's buff. She never said anything about him being buff."

_Do my eyes deceive me, or does this man have eyes for Buffy? He gives her his coat. And Buffy is reciprocating. They aren't Maes and Riza. I see Angel and Buffy. Okay, it's not working._

_It could be his demeanor, but this Angel is hiding something. Buffy is looking for some heartbreak._

* * *

_I'm different. I think it started when I went to that Hyena cage at the Zoo. Don't know how I can explain it. I feel better. Everyone looks small to me. I can do whatever I want. Enough self-pity, I should have taken over Amestris by force from the beginning! Bradley had the right ideas about whittling out the weak._

"I think…I think it's because my feelings…for you…have been changing…We've been friends for such a long time…and…well…I feel like I need to tell you something…I've decided to drop geometry…so…I won't need your math help anymore…which means…I won't have to look at your pasty face again."

_Willow is hurt. Good. Xander's too good for her. She reminds me of that weakling Schieszka. Now Buffy, that's someone I want. Forget Riza._

_I get my chance._

"I've been waiting for you to jump my bones…"  
"Get off me!"

"Is that what you really want? We both know what you really want…You like your men dangerous—

"You're in trouble- infected with some Hyena thing, like a demonic possession…"

"Dangerous and mean, right? Like Angel, your mystery guy. Well, guess who just got mean?"

_Unfortunately, I'm knocked out. I awaken in a cage. Mousy bitch! Let me out! Kill…kill…_

_Freedom! Hunt. Food. Small food. Eat. Buffy. After her. Food! Kill! Kill!…_

_My head…feels like it's been through…Willow is in danger! Xander saves her. Yes, Xander saves her. I remember things in a different light. The feeling to condemn is sealed. Add one more scar to this Alchemist._

_Buffy and Willow explain this influence was some sort of magical hyena possession, causing Xander…and me to act like that. He…I tried to rape...kill Buffy and Willow. That child… And the other kids who were possessed…they killed Principal Flutie...and ate him. A lot of students are going to be scarred for life. Xander, however, pretends amnesia. Only Giles knows the truth._

"Your secret dies with me."

_Nice way to avoid responsibility Xander. For me there's nothing._

* * *

_Xander's jealous about Buffy's association with Angel. Then she lets Angel sleep over in her bedroom. Me, the idea of Riza sleeping in the same room with Hughes, who had this major romantic streak for the woman he loves, which in this world is Riza…okay, it bothers me._

_And then my suspicions are proven correct. Angel is not human. He's a vampire. I can wonder how Buffy is coping with this truth. Xander reasons to her._

"Let's just take a breath and look at this calmly and objectively. Angel's a vampire, you're a Slayer…it's obvious what you have to do."

_I bow to your innovative logic, Xander._

"It's not like you're in love with him."

_Riza…?_

"You're in love with a vampire?

_You're in love with Hughes, Riza?_

_"Are you crazy?"_

_A lot of research about Angel is made. He is the demon with an angel's face. He went through a murderous rampage for more than a hundred years. However, by the turn of the century, he became distant from his kind. Did he become conscientious?_

_Willow and me/Xander visit Buffy's house to find her mother bitten and unconscious. Fortunately she survives. Buffy says she saw Angel holding her mother. Xander is quick to accuse Angel. And yet, why didn't Angel attack when he slept over? Fortunately, I'm not overwhelmed with hormones like Xander. I want to believe the best in people (or anyone who resembles Maes Hughes). Buffy has to do her job._

_And then Giles informs us that the vampire Darla (the blonde one) did the deed._

_We reach the Bronze where Buffy has found out the truth. Darla tries to shoot Buffy, but Angel stakes her into dust._

_Buffy explains some things about Angel. Two hundred years ago, Darla turned him into a vampire. By the uncomfortable expression on Buffy, it appears Angel and Darla once had this thing. Buffy then says Angel is different from other vampires: a hundred years ago he was cursed with a soul. This gives him a conscience that makes him regret his past crimes against humanity, enough not to commit any more. I hear Xander's jealousy scoffing at such an idea. But I understand it. I understand._

_At any rate, Buffy says it's over between her and Angel. I don't believe it. A Slayer and a vampire: a pair of star-crossed lovers. Just why do these two have to look like Riza and Maes?_

* * *

_More craziness ensues. A living puppet. A talent show where Buffy, Willow, and Xander recite some play about a man bedding his mom. Nightmares become real. Fortunately for me, it's Xander's nightmares, like being naked at a classroom or fear of clowns (lucky him). Buffy becomes a vampire. It's temporary though._

_Willow becomes acquainted with someone through the computer. Not surprisingly, it turns out to be a demon. Its power appears to be very formidable. What Buffy and Giles say about the potential this technology can do frightens me. This demon takes on solid metal form, resembling a darker version of Alphonse Elric (during the Armor Years). Once again Buffy wins the day. Willow is very distressed about the type of men she attracts._

"What does that say about me?"

"Hey did you forget? The one boy I've had the hots for here turned out to be a vampire."

Yes, Buffy. Remind me of that.

"It's life on the Hellmouth."

"Let's face it. None of us is ever going to have a normal, happy relationship."

"We're doomed!"

…

_A girl so neglected and ignored that with the added use of some…'mystical' power she disappears from everyone's sight. Now invisible, she targets Cordelia as the blame._

"Somebody's after me! Someone just tried to kill Ms. Miller! She was helping me with homework! And Mitch and Harmony! This is all about me! Me! Me! Me!"

_We decide to help her._

"Stop the coronation tonight, maybe. Keep the guys out of the Bronze."

_Nice idea._

"Nothing is keeping me from the Bronze tonight…If I'm crowned tonight, then…then Marcie's won! And that's bad! She's evil, okay? Way eviler than me."

_Sorta makes sense. We decide to make Cordelia bait. It turns out the girl has a heart…some of one. She knows her popularity is shallow, but considers it a better alternative than loneliness (and I suppose following the majority is a better alternative than being the minority?). Nevertheless, despite Buffy's protection the girl gets kidnapped. Buffy fights the invisible assassin. The rest of us are led into a gas-filled room and trapped there. Courtesy of Invisible Marcie._

"The isolation, the exile she's endured…she has gone mad."

_Great. Even if I were really here, my flame alchemy would be more a danger than asset. I hope I wake up from this dream._

_Angel has rescued us from the gas. Seems vampires don't breathe. He informs us not to tell Buffy. Easy for Xander._

_Buffy defeats the invisible assassin. Some government agents take her away for some possibly dark reason (blame it on experience). And Cordelia goes back to humiliating us losers. Some people never change._

* * *

_Tomorrow is a school dance. Xander is summoning the nerve to ask Buffy out. Why do I get the feeling thing are going to blow up?_

"I don't want to spoil it either. But that's not the point, is it? You either feel a thing or you don't."

"I don't. I'm sorry. I just don't think of you that way."

"Well, try. I'll wait."

_Bingo! Humor makes good coping mechanism._

"I'm sorry. I don't handle rejection well. Funny, considering how much practice I've had."

"I never meant to—"

"You know what? Let's just not."

_Xander asks Willow out. It proves just as unsuccessful._

"You think I'm gonna spend an evening with you watching you wish you were spending an evening with her? You think that's my idea of hijinks? You should know better."

_We spend the rest of the day lying on a bed listening to sad songs. Oh, those wonderful days of juvenile self-pity. When the sole reason for wallowing in despair was a rejection. Still, pain is no fun. It's like Riza rejecting me. For Hughes._

_Willow makes a visit. She is traumatized. Some students were murdered at the AV room at the school. Doesn't take much to know who the culprits are. I know her expressions. I saw it on the face of every Ishbalan who didn't die:_

"We knew those guys. We go to that room everyday. When I walked in there, it wasn't our world anymore. They made it theirs. And they had fun."

_Enough self-pity. We all head to the library. A bruised Giles gives us an added dose of horrible news. Buffy has entered the underground lairs to face the Master. And according to some prophecy, she is destined to die in that battle._

"As the soon-to-be-purple area on my jaw will indicate, I did not let her go. Buffy does as she will."

_A teacher named Jenny Calendar has joined the club, claiming that our priority should be handling an upcoming apocalypse. The Master is coming out of his prison, meaning the Hellmouth will open. Xander decides that Buffy is his main priority. I can't disagree._

"I don't care. I'm sorry, I don't. I gotta help Buffy."

"But we don't know where she's gone."

"No. But I can find out."

_Sure enough, Xander and I simultaneously realize that Angel might know where she went. At the moment, Angel seems very reluctant about helping. Xander persuades him with a cross._

"I don't like you. At the end of the day I pretty much think you're a vampire. But Buffy, man, she's got a big ol' yen for you. I don't get it. She thinks you're a real person. Right now I need you to prove her right."

"You're in love with her."

"Aren't you?"

_Angel takes us through the tunnels. Xander is antsy about it, accusing Angel of looking at his neck. I can't help feeling comfortable. I guess I'm not entirely convinced it's not Hughes with me._

_There is a great light coming from the tunnel. With Angel's 'Too late,' I can realize what this means. I run straight for the cave. The Master isn't around, but..._

_I freeze. I see Ri…Riza lying face down in a pool of water. I stay standing as Angel charges and pulls out her lifeless body. There's a bloody tear on her neck._

"She's dead."

_Because of me? Is this the meaning of my dreams? That I can't save anyone? Hughes, Selim, probably Edward…now Riza. I do nothing. Xander thinks otherwise._

"She's not dead."

"She's not breathing…"

"If she drowned there's a shot. CPR."

_Whatever CPR is, Xander, use it!_

_He grabs her. I feel her body. He places his palms to her chest. He breathes into her mouth. Seconds stretch into hours in my perspective. Don't die, Riza! Not you too!_

_And then Riza's eyes pop open, followed by a gasp and a cough._

"Buffy?"

"Xander?"

_I saved her. No. Xander saved her life. Roy Mustang doesn't do things like that._

_We sit Buffy up. Angel tells her that the Master has gone up to the surface. Buffy stands up by herself, with a strange determined look. I am disturbed, and not just by the fact that she is wearing a dress. Don't do what I think you're going to do._

"You're weak."  
"No I'm not. I feel strong…different. Let's go."

_Again my expectations are wronged. Buffy marches out of the tunnel and to the school. That is where the Master is, or so she believes. Xander and Angel just follow her stride. _

"Oh look. A bad guy."

_Buffy takes down a vampire without breaking her stride. We reach the school. At the door leading to the roof, she orders us to make a defense as she faces the Master. Angel shows me his vampire face. Glad that he is not Hughes._

_Buffy takes the stairs to for her final battle. I don't want her to go alone. But the attacking vampires delay the rescue plan. Angel makes short work of these creatures. I could've done that. Xander, on the other hand, manages to smack only one._

_Suddenly comes a loud shriek. The vampires disperse. Buffy comes back down. Her face is cold, neither happy nor sad. The job's done. That's it? _

_We follow Buffy and Angel to the library. There's a car in the hallway. The door has been barricaded. Willow, Giles, Ms. Calendar, and Cordelia (Cordelia?) are there. The room is a wreck, a sign of a battle. In the middle is a ghoulish skeleton impaled by wood. That is what's left of the Master. What now?_

"We saved the world. I say we party. I mean, I got all pretty."

_Buffy is hiding some major trauma. But she keeps her cool. It'll break soon._

"Loser."

_We all leave the Library for the Prom party. Again, the end of the world has been stopped by a small civilian group of kids, with some adults, and a vampire added._

To be continued


End file.
